Field guide · 15 sections · 12 minute read

The conversations your leadership team is avoiding
are the problems your organisation is inheriting.

A practical field guide built around the PREP framework, with ready-to-use scripts for the five hardest conversations managers face. Designed for whole leadership teams, not lone managers — because one avoider sets the norm for everyone.

📋 15 sections 📝 5 scripts you can copy 🖨 Print-to-PDF quick reference card

This isn't about one manager and one conversation. It's about what happens across your whole leadership team.

01

Cost of inaction is cumulative

Performance issues fester. Good people leave. Toxic behaviours persist. It compounds across every avoided conversation across every manager.

02

Capability is a team property

The question isn't whether one manager can have a hard conversation. It's whether your leadership team as a whole is equipped. One avoider infects the team's norms.

03

The multiplier effect

One unaddressed performance issue affects team output, then morale, then retention. Multiply by the managers avoiding their version of it and you have systemic risk.

"Organisations report workplace conflicts reduced by one-third — and a 25% productivity uplift — when their leadership team as a whole is equipped to have difficult conversations."

PREP — a structure that works for any hard conversation

Four steps. The same shape whether you're giving performance feedback, delivering bad news, addressing conflict, or saying no.

Purpose

State why

One sentence on why you're having this conversation.

"I want to discuss the project delays so we can get back on track."
Reality

Share facts

Specific observations. Facts, not judgments.

"The last three deliverables were submitted two to five days late."
Explore

Ask questions

Understand their perspective before you propose anything.

"Can you help me understand what's been happening?"
Path forward

Agree next steps

Land on something specific you've both agreed.

"Let's agree on how to prevent this going forward."

The conversations your leaders most often avoid

Each scenario has the setup, what to prepare, a full sample script using PREP, and what to say if it goes sideways. Click any scenario to expand.

01

Performance feedback

A team member's work quality has declined and others are noticing.

Before the conversation

  • Gather specific examples with dates and outcomes
  • Choose a private setting
  • Allow enough time — don't squeeze it in
  • Prepare your PREP framework on paper

Sample script

PURPOSE
"I wanted to talk with you about some concerns I've noticed with recent work quality. I want to help you get back to your best."
REALITY
"In the last month I've noticed errors in the Johnson report, missed details in client communications, and the quality review flagged three issues on the Henderson project."
EXPLORE
"This isn't like you. Can you help me understand what's going on?"
PATH FORWARD
"Based on what you've shared, let's agree on [specific support]. I'll check in with you in two weeks. How does that sound?"
If they get defensive

"I can see this is hard to hear. I'm sharing this because I believe in your potential and I want to help. Can we focus on moving forward?"

If they deny the problem

"I understand you see it differently. What I can tell you is what I've observed. Can we agree to monitor this together over the next few weeks?"

02

Delivering bad news

A budget cut means a promised opportunity won't happen, or a project is cancelled.

Before the conversation

  • Know exactly what you can and can't share
  • Anticipate their likely reactions
  • Have alternatives ready if there are any
  • Choose timing carefully — not Friday at 5pm

Sample script

PURPOSE
"I need to share some difficult news with you. I wanted you to hear it from me directly."
REALITY
"The restructure means the promotion we discussed won't be happening this cycle. I know this is disappointing."
EXPLORE
"I want to give you space to react. What questions do you have?"
PATH FORWARD
"Here's what I can do: [alternative]. And I'm committed to [ongoing support]. Let's talk again on Thursday once you've had time to process."
Key principles

Don't bury the news in preamble. Take responsibility for what you can. Don't over-explain or make excuses. Give them time to process.

03

Addressing conflict between team members

Two team members aren't collaborating well and it's starting to affect the rest of the team.

Step 1 — Individual conversations (with each person)

PURPOSE
"I've noticed some tension between you and [colleague]. I want to understand your perspective before we all meet together."
REALITY
"I've observed [specific behaviours or incidents]. From your side, what's been happening?"
EXPLORE
"What would need to change for you to work effectively together?"
PATH FORWARD
"I'm going to talk with [colleague] as well, and then I'd like the three of us to meet to agree on a path forward."

Step 2 — Joint meeting framework

  • Set ground rules — listen without interrupting, focus on solutions
  • Each person shares their experience while you facilitate
  • Identify common ground
  • Agree on specific behaviours going forward
  • Schedule a follow-up
04

Saying no to a request

A team member wants something you can't (or shouldn't) grant.

Sample script

PURPOSE
"Thank you for bringing this to me. I want to give you a straight answer."
REALITY
"I'm not able to approve [request] because [honest reason]."
EXPLORE
"I imagine that's frustrating. What's driving this request for you?"
PATH FORWARD
"What I can offer is [alternative]. Let's talk about how to move toward [their underlying goal] over time."
Key principles

Say no clearly — don't leave room for misinterpretation. Explain why when appropriate. Acknowledge their perspective. Offer what you can.

05

Career-limiting conversation

A team member has a blind spot that will cap their career if it's left unaddressed.

Sample script

PURPOSE
"I want to have an honest conversation with you because I care about your career here."
REALITY
"I've noticed [specific pattern] in [situations]. Here's the impact: [how others perceive them, opportunities missed]."
EXPLORE
"Were you aware of how this was landing? What's your perspective?"
PATH FORWARD
"If you're open to it, here's what I'd suggest: [specific development]. I'm committed to supporting you, but I need you to commit to working on this."
Important framing

This is the most caring conversation you can have. You're sharing something hard because you want them to succeed. Position it that way.

Recovery strategies that bring the conversation back

Even with preparation, hard conversations can swerve. These are the four moments to keep in your pocket.

When emotions run high

"I can see this has hit a nerve. Let's pause here and come back to this tomorrow when we've both had time to think."

When you said something poorly

"I didn't say that the way I intended. Can I try again?"

When they shut down

"I notice you've gone quiet. I don't want to push, but I do want to understand. Would you prefer to continue this conversation later?"

When you lose your cool

"I apologise — I didn't handle that as well as I should have. Can we reset?"

Three exercises before the real conversation

Use this page as a worksheet — your answers stay in your browser, nothing is sent anywhere.

Exercise 1 — Map your avoided conversations

List three conversations you've been putting off.

Exercise 2 — Draft a PREP for one of them

Pick one. Write the four steps out before you walk in.

Exercise 3 — Role-play it

Run it with a trusted colleague. Have them play the difficult person while you practise your script. Then swap.

How equipped is your leadership team?

Tick each one your team can do consistently — not aspirationally. The gaps are where the cost is.

Our managers raise concerns within a week of noticing them, not months
Performance issues are addressed directly, not via vague hints or 'all-team' messages
Our managers stay in the conversation when the other person gets defensive
Bad news is delivered by the person making the decision, not deflected to HR
Inter-team conflicts get surfaced in 1:1s, not left to fester
Saying no to a request is followed by an explanation and, where possible, an alternative
Career-limiting feedback gets shared early, while there's still time to act on it
When a conversation goes wrong, managers recover and circle back instead of writing it off

The one-page card

Print this before any hard conversation. It's the framework plus the phrases that get you out of trouble.

Difficult Conversations — Quick Reference
Communication Skills Academy · resources.communicationskillsacademy.com.au

The PREP framework

PurposeState why you're having this conversation
RealityShare specific observations — facts, not judgments
ExploreAsk questions, understand their perspective
Path forwardAgree on a specific next step

Phrases to have ready

Starting"I want to discuss… because…"
Sharing feedback"I've observed… The impact is…"
If they get defensive"I can see this is difficult. Let's focus on moving forward."
If they shut down"I notice you've gone quiet. Would you prefer to continue later?"
If you lose your cool"I apologise — can we reset?"
Closing"Let's agree on… and check in on [date]."

"The conversations you avoid become the problems you inherit."

Ready to equip your leadership team — not just one manager?

Communication Skills Academy works with whole leadership groups so the norm is consistent across your business.

Workshop: Difficult Conversations for Managers (one day, run for your leadership cohort)
Coaching: Individual sessions for the highest-stakes conversations
Train-the-trainer: Build internal capability so the practice sticks
Book a free consultation →